FOX News Hates State Dept’s Idea of Helping ISIS Prone Youth

fox buds

The good people of Fox’s hit program The Evil White Couch damn near lost their minds recently after State Department spokeswoman, Marie Harf, suggested helping the youth in ISIS ran territories rather than killing them. She suggested addressing the root causes of Muslim extremism while still systematically targeting the organization’s leaders through military strikes. Basically meaning we can’t just keep killing people forever and hope for the problem to go away. She suggested introducing different job opportunities for the youth to at least give them some kind of option other than picking up an assault rifle and joining ISIS.

Here’s what FOX NEWS had to say:

In typical FOX fashion they set the party off with a round of of sneering shitty jokes that could only be thought up in the head of a man with a blonde toupee.

Okay, so have these ISIS monsters go to and get a job...

Okay, so have these ISIS monsters go to and get a job…

Unable to keep themselves together for long, the gang unravels into full on “Christian Pyscho Mode” and decides this war with ISIS is strictly a religious war and ISIS’s sole mission is to spread Islam through Europe and totally crush Christendom once and for all. Steve Doocy even went so far as to call on his Jewish brothers, which is funny considering he was most likely forbidden to speak with any while growing up.

The other blonde lady decided to fully take it to the house, holding her gold cross up to the camera so she could Jesus stunt all over America and got herself pretty worked up in the process. After which, her assistants quickly fetched her cup of lamb’s blood for her to sip and cool her nerves.

I don't need to make valid points, I'm angry!

I don’t need to make valid points, I’m angry!

Just remember, if you’re in government and you come up with a well rounded idea that could possibly have a positive lasting effect on the world…think twice before you bring that shit to the team.

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About the Author

Matt McCusker
Matt McCusker
An avid truth seeker equipped with a hard dick and all the facts.