Cops have been having a bad year. After a handful of highly publicized violent deaths, police have lost a great chunk of the general public’s trust. High ranking brass have been sitting around scratching their heads trying to figure out how to show the public they can and should be trusted. Call me crazy but I think holding the officers who kill people accountable for their actions would be a pretty good start. Though that would require an honest effort for a positive change…so police departments across the countries have decided to do the next best thing instead.
Enter “Coffee With A Cop.”
You get a cup of coffee. There’s a uniformed officer hanging at a table alone. He beckons you to come sit next to them and discuss the neighborhood. You shift around uncomfortably as this wired up psycho tries to be your friend, wishing you could have just went to the other Dunkin Donuts near your job instead. You try to hold your breath in an attempt to escape the fumes of coffee, cigarettes and decaying sugar that are now all around you, smothering you into submission. You sit and nod your head hoping someone decides to rob a bank down the street—and then it hits you.
Have cops finally figured out how to get paid to sit and drink coffee?
You get up. You sip your coffee and tell that officer to get the fuck out there and go patrol the streets in a safe and effective manner, rather than wasting tax payer money in a lame attempt to get people to like them. You tell him instead to focus on not being raging assholes and stop using excessive force on people who don’t require it. You tell him how cops who act like regular human beings are generally respected and should have nothing to worry about. The cop breaks eye contact and you smack the table and say. “Look me in the eyes, damn it!”
You take one final sip of your coffee as the officer nervously wriggles in his chair, wondering how the power dynamic of this hypothetical situation could have possible shifted so fast. You tell him to get up and go tell his boss to stop recruiting (and arming) power hungry psychos and consider holding guilty cops accountable rather than pulling all that stupid brotherhood bullshit and covering each other’s messes up all of the time. You pick up HIS coffee and dump it on the ground.
He then kicks your ass and charges you with assaulting an officer.
While being escorted out of Dunkin, somehow now shirtless, you spit a mouthful of blood onto the ground while everyone watches you being escorted into a cop car, which admittedly has always been a secret fantasy of yours…