Boston’s Mayor: Stop Jumping Off Your Roofs Into The Snow

mayor of boston

Boston’s Mayor, Marty Walsh, had to address the citizens of Boston recently telling them to “Stop the nonsense.” Due to record breaking amount of snow the people of Boston have been getting a little restless (drunk) and jumping off their roofs into the snow for fun. Walsh criticizes the behavior as “a foolish thing to do” and also lets his constituents know that, “This (meaning either life or Boston) isn’t loon mountain.”

Though it is currently unclear as to what exactly loon mountain actually is.

He also gets all CSI on what could happen to someone who jumped, “You could jump out your window, an icicle could have fallen off your roof, gone the other way, and and and…and the rest, you…figure out what happened after that.” The message to Boston is clear: Who ever jumps off their roofs is getting stabbed by the Mayor’s right hand man.

See you on Loon Mountain!

Admit you jumped in the snow damnit!

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About the Author

Matt McCusker
Matt McCusker
An avid truth seeker equipped with a hard dick and all the facts.